Making progress.... kinda

I love you more than... the 3ft tall vase I bought for the wedding that you broke today!

One word: MELTDOWN!!!!

You could say I am feeling a tad overwhelmed these days.  Okay, so that's an understatement.  My broken vase meltdown and the wise guidance of my lovely selfless friend Kim has mad me realize that I have more than a fair share of stress on my plate and Tara needs a break.  From life.  But since that is not realistic, time moves on and so do I.

It's moments like this in my life when I ask myself one question: How do those women do it?  You know, the ones that work full time, have two kids, go to soccer games, swimming lessons, PTA meetings and still have time to volunteer at the food bank or some other equally worthwhile charity.  The women that have dinner on the table every day at 6pm and make cupcakes for the bake sale on Wednesday.  I want those women's energy!  I have a sneaking suspicion they are all closet coke addicts or seriously manic.  I actually had a related conversation with my Dad and Step-mom last weekend.  I admitted that though I am a hard worker, I feel like I am actually a very lazy person.  When it comes to work, I am dedicated and reliable.  I show up every day and do my very best.  But, on my days off, and the hours leading up to work I am hard to motivate.  If I don't have a commitment and I don't absolutely have to be somewhere or do something, I just don't.  Do anything.  Ever.  I mean, yeah, I do go stir crazy and I love going out and being social.  One of my favorite things used to be going walking with my good friend Jenny (who abandoned me to go back to *sigh* Alberta).  But the thing is, and this is the thing, it has to be on my terms.  I know I know, controlling much?!  Despite being a lazy person I somehow thought I could take on the huge task of planning this wedding.  God am I deluded!  It will happen.  I will persevere I know this much.  I may be lazy but I am also stubborn and determined.  Now whether or not Aaron will still want to marry the unbearable witch I will most likely become will be another question.

Okay, some of you may be interested to know what the vase meltdown is and why a vase induced a meltdown.   It's silly really.  Aaron leaned from the kitchen over the arm of the couch to look at something on my computer screen and when he stood back up the vase fell and broke into a thousand tiny pieces.  Now it wasn't so much the broken vase that upset me.  It was really just the straw that broke the camels back (I really need to find a new analogy, I hate referring to myself as a camel).  The vase was the first thing I had bought for the wedding decor and when I bought it I felt like I had begun to make progress.  I was beginning to collect inexpensive items for the wedding and it felt good.  Until it shattered and I had to start all over again!  I should also mention that this past week has probably been the most challenging I have ever faced at work.  Friday truly tested my patience and broke my spirit a wee bit.  It would be accurate to say I felt defeated and a bit self pitying.  I hadn't even realized it but I had been trying to "fake it til you make it" for six months.  Sometimes instead of putting on a brave face for everyone you need to really talk about what is going on and what is concerning you.  I like to think I'm a pretty tough cookie, but no matter how many times I say out loud that it will all pay off and it will all work out the bottom line is sometimes you need to say out loud "Hey, this sucks! They lied to me and I'm pissed off!!".  For the past six months I have been busting my ass applying for jobs in Therapeutic Recreation with no luck.  Though I love my job now, it's not quite what I should be doing with my education and I am not making nearly what I am worth.  But something is better than nothing and I am thankful for full time work.  After six months you can't help but beat yourself up just a little and some days more than others.  Your mind runs away with you thinking, what's wrong with me?? What am I not doing that everyone else is?? Everyone in my program told me there was a huge demand for TRP's and I would have my choice of jobs upon graduation.  LIES!!!!  Well I guess not complete lies.  I could definitely work 4 casual positions and drive all around the lower mainland from day to day with no real job security or solid income.  Totally worth 4 years of blood, sweat and tears not to mention student loan debt!  But I digress.  So the broken vase added to the perfect stress storm.

Wedding planning + job search + work stress + procrastinating fiance + dieting + broken vase = meltdown.

On a positive note, we have 2 items to check off the wedding list.  A few weeks ago we gave our good friend Celeste Jacobson the option of either being a guest at our wedding or being our photographer/guest at our wedding and she is honoring us with her immense talent.  Please check her out because she is so talented and just a super lovely person!  http://celestemagnusson.com/  I have had Celeste in the back of my mind for our wedding photographer since 2010 when she photographed Aaron's friends and sister's weddings and now we have her!! YAY! Totally psyched!

On another photography note, Aaron and I had not planned on having engagement photos done because it was an extra expense we didn't really think was necessary.  We hadn't realized at the time that Celeste's wedding packages included a complimentary engagement session.  Well I was talking to my co-worker Jesse this summer about the amazing photos he took on the work camping trip and I told him that we weren't planning on having engagement photos done, but if he wanted to get a little experience doing a photo shoot, we would be more than happy to be his patient subjects.  And so we waited for the leaves to change all the pretty colours and went for a 3 hour walk around Pitt Meadows with Jesse and his camera on October 20th.  We havn't seen the photos yet but I'm sure they are beautiful since I have seen what Jesse can do with a camera and he has a beautiful eye.  He has posted two stop motion videos of the session on his youtube channel.  Feel free to check them out!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8a89CxDTTQ
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bhkpDF2ehY&feature=youtu.be

Thank you so much to Jesse for donating his time and talents on his day off! Cant wait to see the photos!

 We are now in the process of researching caterers, so if anyone has any recommendations we are open to suggestions.  We have also requested my extremely talented brother Rob design our wedding invitation.  He has presented us with two rough draft images which are gorgeous so needless to say (but I'm going to say it anyway) we are dying with anticipation for the finished product.  We are so blessed to have so many amazing talented generous friends and family contributing to what we think is going to be a kick ass good time!

Till next time, peace to the out and good night xo

Booking the Venue

As soon as Aaron and I got engaged my first concern was booking a venue so we could get a good weekend.  Since both Aaron and I have been to quite a few weddings in the last three years there were certain criteria we had in mind for booking our own wedding venue. 

I was adamant that we would not ask our friends and family to take a day off work or sacrifice a long weekend for our wedding.  Well, best laid plans and all of that! As much as you say I'm not going to do this and I'm not going to do that when it comes down to what your potential venue has to offer for available weekends you really have no control in the matter. 

It came down to three venues:
Glenbrook Park and Amenity Centre, New Westminster - http://www.glenbrookpark.com/ 
South Bonson Community Centre, Pitt Meadows - http://www.pittmeadows.bc.ca/EN/main/residents/742/8733/South-Bonson-Community-Centre---Photos.html
Old Orchard Hall, Port Moody - http://www.portmoody.ca/index.aspx?page=222

When Aaron and I decided to start ring shopping I knew we should have an idea of where we wanted to hold our ceremony and reception because these days venues book up a year and a half in advance.  I started researching venues that met our criteria: central for all guests to get to (in the lower mainland), hotels close for out of town guests, beautiful scenery, ceremony and reception site, and of course within our budget.

I originally fell in love with Glenbrook in June and looked at their calender and most Saturdays were already booked.  SHIT!  I inquired about their prices and was surprised to find they were reasonable: $1320 including insurance and SOCAN fees.  I thought that was doable.  Of course when I showed Aaron he was not in the mindset to book a venue before we were legitimately engaged.  Because we were doing everything else in perfect order (sarcasm).  This venue has amazing gardens, a duck pond and a stone bridge.  The location was perfect for a ceremony and reception in one place not to mention the convenience of having the photos done on site also.  The only downside this venue had was the availability was scarce and it was only available until 12midnight so drink and music had to end at 11.  As a night person and former haver of good times that seemed a bit early for me.  So.... we continued to look at other venues and didn't book Glenbrook.

The next venue I was informed about was close to home.  The South Bonson Community Centre.  I had been told that because we live in Pitt Meadows and I work for the district we could get discounts!! YES PLEASE!!!

This is where the excitement drains from my face.  Even with the discount, after insurance, the SOCAN fees and the mandatory security guard, SBCC would cost us over $2000.  Granted it is a beautiful fully sustainable facility and there were many features that were hard to pass up like the bride room, the patio, the availability to have the ceremony on the lawn right outside the centre as well as the brand new full AV system. 
Not to mention that Bonson had a Saturday not on a long weekend available.  Unfortunately it really came down to cost for us.  We are trying very hard to do our wedding between 10-15k and booking Bonson would have put us over our venue budget by a lot.  We hadnt made our final decision but we kept looking.

Then we (I) found the Old Orchard Hall in Port Moody.  The pictures I found online were nice simple kinda hipster weddings with little to no decorations and were still very lovely.  The part that sold me was the proximity to Rocky Point for wedding portraits.  We did our online research, but there wasn't a lot of information out there so thus began the correspondence with their event coordinator.  This should have been my first red flag.  The brochure that was emailed to me contained the price for the day: $956.55+HST SOCAN fees: $66.27, insurance fees: $60.00, liquor insurance: $100, time limit: 10:30am-1:30am) and maximum capacity for a seated event: 125.  After reviewing the price and capacity and seeing pictures online we decided we would go ahead and book the Old Orchard Hall knowing full well that booking a hall would mean twice as much work for us but probably half the price.

After we booked Old Orchard we started finding things out we weren't really prepared for.  Our venue doesn't have a sound system so we will have to hire a DJ or rent equipment.  There isn't a bride room to get ready which means we will probably rent a B&B close by (more $$).  the ceremony location we thought would be a sure thing actually has a lot of stipulations included (ceremony can only be 20mins, no decorations and only 5 chairs).  Commence with the freaking out!!! So now I'm having buyers remorse and going back to all the other venues and price comparing! I had originally had my heart set on a DJ but I am slowly being swayed into doing the ipod DJ thing.  Not having decorations at the ceremony is not the hugest deal since really the most important part is that we are getting married in the presence of our closest people.  So we did the math and thought about it for a week and came to the conclusion that even though we were annoyed that all this information was not provided in an easily accessible brochure, the math worked out in our benefit and it would be advantageous to stay at Old Orchard but have to do more work and separate vendor bookings to save money.

The moral of the story is get ALL the information before you jump into booking a venue because there are always hidden costs and things you forget you want in a venue until after your in the planning process.  That being said I know our wedding is going to be beautiful no matter what and we are going to stay on budget at all costs!! Oh and for those who don't know the date on which we will be joined in holy matrimony is a Friday August 2, 2013.  Yup that's a Friday on a long weekend.  Like I said, best laid plans and all of that!

Jump Back!

I love you more than... carbs!

As I stated previously, Aaron and I got engaged at the end of August and it is now the end of October so I feel like I should jump back a few steps since we have gotten a little bit of planning accomplished in the last month or so.

I would like to begin with when the engagement chatter first reared its ugly pimply head!  I say it this way because when family and friends start throwing around the W and M words (wedding and married) it begins to consume you.  Well it did to me anyway.  

For those who don't know, I was in Dobbs Ferry New York for three and a half months on my college internship.  That's three and a half months away from my friends, my family, my car, my household comforts and most importantly my dear sweet Aaron.  Everyone, and I mean every one of my friends was positive Aaron was going to propose before I went to New York.  Either at Christmas, New Years or at the airport.  All of these moments came and passed and there was no proposal to be seen.  I was not surprised since I had stated numerous times that a holiday engagement was not something I was interested in.  Aaron and I made a plan that he would come visit me my last week in New York and we would fly home together. During one of our nightly Skype conversations Aaron mentions that there is a Groupon for $160/nt at a castle in New York normally $400/nt. (http://www.oheka.com/).  I was shocked Aaron would even want to stay at a place like this so instead of questioning his motives I jumped at the chance to feel like a princess at a castle for a night! 

Of course when I told my friends we would be staying at this beautiful hotel AND it was Aaron's idea again everyone thought he was going to propose in New York.  Even though I knew better, I know Aaron wouldn't have traveled with a ring, the whole time Aaron visited me in New York, I was secretly preparing myself for it to happen.  When we watched the sunset from the Top of the Rock on the Empire State Building I prepared myself, when we stayed at the castle I prepared myself, when we walked across the Brooklyn Bridge, I prepared myself.  Do you know how emotionally exhausting it is always being on alert for something to happen?? By the end of the trip I was just thankful to be going home and being with Aaron once again.  But..... because I am who I am, I was curious why he didn't pop the question when the romantic scenery was handed to him on a silver platter.  So I asked, on the plane ride home.  Just to be difficult, he didn't want to talk about it while surrounded by a couple of hundred perfect strangers.  So I waited patiently until we stopped for dinner in Everett after we landed in Seattle some 6 hours later.  "why didn't you propose?" I asked.  Oh yeah that's a question every guy wants to be asked! Let alone after the stress of traveling with someone for 12 hours.  I half expected him to say "remember that fight we had at the train station on the way to the airport.... that's why".  But he didn't.  He just got a sly smile, looked up at me from his burger and fries and said "I was going to.  But I didn't have a ring".  Hold on!! What??? So what does this mean exactly??? We are going to start looking at rings?? Can we go ring shopping when we get home???? So...... we're like going to get married for reals???? 
  
So from that you can conclude that the engagement wasn't a huge surprise, but the proposal was!  Aaron and I were given one of the most amazing gifts a couple getting engaged could get.  The centre diamond of my ring was given to us by my Aunty Patti on my dads side.  It was once one of three stones on my Grandma's wedding ring.  Uhm can we say just saved us a fortune!!! Knowing we had this diamond we went about looking at ring designs but there weren't very many jewelers that offered settings you could put your own diamond into.  Because I new that my best friend had her ring made at Dallany in Coquitlam centre I always just assumed I would get my ring made there also.  I mean if you have seen her ring you would know why!  So we went into Dallany just to get an idea of what the cost would be for my dream design (a combination of three 1920-30's art deco rings I have had images of for 6  months).  


We were quoted an amazing price for both the engagement and the wedding band.  We hadn't planned on starting the design process that day but somehow we got talked into putting the deposit down.  Needless to say I cried on the walk back to the car! I couldn't believe that after months of people telling me it was going to happen, that now it was happening.


Aaron and I both agreed that I would design the ring and give approvals on the molds up until the last one but after that I would no longer be involved. I didn't want to see the finished product or know when the ring was ready until it was presented to me as a marriage proposal.  Even though we were doing things very non traditionally, we agreed that we would like to have a traditional proposal.    

Months went by, literally months and I had heard nothing of the ring.  If I recall I gave the final approval of the ring in June and we started the process in April.  It got to the point where I had convinced myself it was never going to happen, Aaron had changed his mind and given the diamond back to my Aunt! I was going bat shit crazy in anticipation!  To add to the waiting insanity, even if Aaron had the ring, my work schedule was so ridiculous: Friday - Tuesday 230pm -10pm; Aaron and I only saw each other 19 hours a week (yes that is a specific number of hours, I actually counted them one week), there were no opportunities to even have a romantic date for him to propose!

Then there came a week in August, where I had a Friday night off!! I know!! I was pretty stoked about planning a date for the first time in 9 weeks with my long lost love!  So again because I am who I am I start asking on Monday what we should do on our Friday night date.  And Aaron shocks the shit out of me.  He says, "Let's go to Van Duesen Gardens".  I pretty much shot him down on the spot.  I didn't mean to but come on, like Aaron wants to walk around a garden for three hours looking at flowers.  I thought that's super nice that he wants to do something for me but I really don't want to feel like I'm dragging him around all night.  I thought why don't we do something we both want to do.  So I recommended we go up to see Shannon falls since three times a year we talk about stopping there and we never have time.  So that was the plan!  Shannon Falls on Friday!

Because I'm such an amazingly wonderfully nice person, I offered to drive a couple of co-workers home after work on Friday since they were on the way, but like an idiot this put me behind schedule.  So I get home scramble to get ready since I have to be dressed to hike up a hill to water falls and also be nice enough to go for dinner after.  So we head to Squamish and of course we get caught in the most ridiculous weekend traffic.  What should have taken us 45 mins took us an hour and a half.  I was honestly worried the park would be closed or it would be dark by the time we got up there.  So we make it to the park it is still daylight thank goodness, and we hike up to the falls and there is a large family standing at the rail so I decide that if we hike up these steps we will be able to see better... I was wrong!  So the whole time Aaron is asking me to come back down and lets just look at the falls from the view point.  I finally concede and by this time the family is gone.  We are standing at the railing and I keep smacking my elbow on the rail because it's built for people who are not vertically challenged, and I'm cursing away because it really hurts! Aaron is standing behind me being very affectionate and kinda weird.  We are looking at the falls and Aaron says to me "Hey babe, what the heck is this thing on the ground here?"  I'm like what thing? I didn't see a thing.  I turn around and Aaron is down on one knee!!! So this is where I lose it.  I start crying and all I can say is "oh my goodness it's happening.  This is happening, it's happening now!"  Aaron kept it very sweet and simple.  He told me he loves me and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and would I marry him?  Uhm YES of course YES!!!! When I saw the ring I was in shock!  Pictures just don't do it justice in my opinion!

We had a romantic dinner at the boathouse in Port Moody which is kinda kizmit since that is where we are getting married (not the boathouse but PM - that's another blog post).  We spent the next few days telling family and friends our wonderful news and I spent the next few days freaking out about booking a venue!

On August 12th 2009 I had my first date with the man I knew immediately I was going to spend the rest of my days with.  On August 24th 2012 I became engaged to the love of my life and on August 2nd 2013 he will make me the happiest woman in the world by making me his wife!